ways to annoy,freakout and embarrass the host club
by XxNiji-The-Pedo-BearxX
Summary: made this up while I was bored :p hope you like, took me ages to think of all the reasons. :
1. Chapter 1

Ways to freak out/annoy/embarrass the hosts

*Niji does not own Ouran*

A/N – if you made something like this before I did then sorry, I came up with this randomly :P

**Tamaki**

When he tries his act on you say something like this:

-_Tamaki: well what do we have here . . .?_

_*grabs me around the waist and tilts chin*_

_Tamaki: so young but so immensely beautiful . . . _

_Me: are you a pervert?_

_Tamaki: huh? What! No!_

_Me: then stop touching me! *watches Tamaki sulk*_

Accidentally on purpose drop his stuffed bear into an incinerator

- _Let's just say he has his own mushroom plantation going on_

Tell him that Ramen kills brain cells

- _He never looks at Ramen the same again_

When he gets freaked out say 'whoops too late'

- _I didn't have time to see his reaction, he had run to 'mommy'_

Lock him in a room with 'Ranka' when he is pissed off . . . and conveniently holding a bazooka

- _Thankfully Ranka missed. . .his head_

Confiscate everything he has to do with Haruhi (Including his secret shrine to her)

- _Hehehe he didn't suspect a thing. . .from me at least_

Show Haruhi the evidence

- _Meh lets not go there_

Follow him everywhere singing 'lonely' by Akon in a squeaky chipmunk voice

- _Out of order_

Tell him that it's not his fault

- _Me: It's not your fault!_

_Tamki: what?_

_Me: It's not your fault_

_Tamaki: you're scaring me_

_Me: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT_

_Tamaki: Mommy. . . _

_Me: IT NEVER WAS YOUR FAULT_

_Tamaki: what? What's not my fault?_

_*goes on forever*_

9. Make him dress up as Benio

- _He looks better in a lobelia girl's academy outfit than I thought. . ._

10. Show Benio

- _She's quite kick-ass for a . . . wait no stereotypes allowed_

11. After Benio finishes beating him up, tell him he makes a great Benio

- _The Tamaki glare of doom isn't that doom-y_

12. Give him a sex ed lesson

- _Make a teacher do it, they (at least) will be more professional_

13. Videotape his reaction, and then put it on YouTube

-_ wow three million hits already_

14. Call him a mommy's boy

-_ Kyoya wasn't impressed_

15. Ask him if he speaks idiot

- _me: what theres nothing to be ashamed of Tamaki!_

_Tamaki: whatever, JUST GIVE ME BACK MY SHRINE_

**That's all I could think of for now, who do you think I should do next?**


	2. Chapter 2

Ways to freak out/annoy/embarrass the hosts

*Niji does not own Ouran*

sorry for the late update, it is freakin hard coming up with reasons! and also I was busy with my birthday, my birthday oh and my birthday ;)

**Hikaru - funnest to write :)**

1. make him read the all the rated M HikaxKao Yaoi fanfics there are on this website

_Me - wow, you sure do have some crazy fans!_

_Hikaru - NO THIS IS A LIE! I dont tell him to do 1/2 the things in here!_

_me - 1/2? *evil grin* _

_Hikaru - Um. . . I can explain_

_Me - two words *sings* FACE-BOOK_

_Hikaru - NOOO!_

_2. _make Arai join the Host club

_Me - watching boy hate is fun!_

_Hikaru - STAY AWAY FROM HARUHI_

_Tamaki - I SECOND THAT_

_Arai - eh he he he watermelon anyone?_

3. Make Hikaru watch re-runs of the potter puppet pals - the mysterious ticking noise

_Hikaru - scarred_

4. creep up on him while hi is unpreparedand scream: "whats that mysterious ticking noise?" inot his ear

_me - *creep creep*_

_Hikaru - *innocent*_

_Me - WHATS THAT MYSTERIOUS TICKING NOISE?_

_Hikaru - GAAH PIPE BOMB_

5. tell him you think a yoga class would help him cure his 'wicked ways'

_Hikaru - If you werent a girl I would strangle you_

_Me - ooh la la major threat!_

6. whack him on the arm every few minutes and use 'mosquito' as an excuse.

_me - *whack*_

_Hikaru - OWOWOWOWOWOW WTF?_

_Me - Mosquito_

7. repeat step 6 but this time shout whatever comes into your head

_me - *WHACK*_

_Hikaru - STOP IT_

_Me - BURRITO_

_Hikaru - THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE_

_Me - *WHACK*_

_Hikaru - I WILL END YOU_

_Me - GAY SEX_

_Hikaru - what?_

_Me *whack*_

_Hikaru - I'm warning you_

_Me - TACO_

8. whenever he asks you something / says something to you reply 'two camels in a tiny car'

_Hikaru - STOP HITTING ME_

_Me - twocamelsinatinycar_

_Hikaru - Say what?_

_Me - two camels in a tiny car_

_Hikaru - stop being so retarded_

_Me - Stop being so adopted_

_Hikaru - that joke doesnt make sense unless you watch RayWilliamJohnson!_

_Me - Two. camels. in. a. Tiny. MOTHER F******. CAR!_

_9_. get him to play twister

_me - bad idea, I think he enjoyed it more than I did_

_Hikaru - another game?_

_Me - not on you freaking life_

10. throw biscuits at him at random intervals

_hikaru - Oh Kaoru *whomp*_

_Oh Haruhi *whomp_

_. . .*whomp*_

_OH COME ON I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING_

_me - yeah but you were thinkin it!_

11. reply to everything he says with 'thats what you think'

_Hikaru: me and kaoru love Italian_

_Me - thats what you think_

_Hikaru - Tamaki is the worst boss ever_

_Me - thats what you think_

_Hikaru - you dont like me_

_Me - thats what you *shot* _

_Hikaru - hehehe_

12. tell hikaru a long joke, really build it up then purposely forget the punchline but assure him that it was a 'great hoot'

_me - then , ahaha the pickle went to the cheese burger and ahahaha_

_Hikaru - yes yeeees!_

_Me - and and, uh. . ._

_Hikaru - tell me TEELL ME I DEMAND YOU!_

_Me - sorry, I forgot but it was a great hoot!_

_Hikaru - _-_-''

13. finish all your sentences with 'in acordance to the prophecy'

_Hikaru - do you like italian_

_Me - I do in accordance to the prophecy_

_Hikaru - WTH?_

_Me - I have to speak like this for a few more minutes in accordance to the prophecy_

14. Holler random numbers while he is counting

_Hikaru - 1.2.3._

_me - 75 89 92 25 _

_Hikaru - 4. 5. 6._

_me - 35 67 1 23 _

_Hikaru - 7. 8. 95 oh s***_

15. repeat everything he says

_Hikaru - What's 7 x 15 _

_Me - what's 7x15_

_Hikaru - I'm asking you_

_Me - I'm asking you_

_Hikaru - I asked first_

_Me - I asked first_

_Hikaru - Hikaru is a sexy beast and I wanna kiss him_

_Me - wow ur so self centred_

16. lie about simpple things such as time of day

_Hikaru - what time is it?_

_Me - 72 past 25_

_Hikaru - Sigh_

17. whenever he says something cross your arms and say prove it

_Hikaru - our dad died yesterday_

_Me - Prove it_

**yh thats all I could think of :) tell me what you think ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

Ways to freak out/annoy/embarrass the hosts

*Niji does not own Ouran*

**Kyoya - sorry kaoru fans this one couldnt wait *evil cackle***

**1. make him watch 2 girls 1 cup**

_Kyoya - oh god! who watches this perverted stuff?_

_me - Paedophiles and Hikaru but they're basically the same thing_

_Hikaru - I HAD MY CHAPTER_

**2. tie Kyoya's hair in little bunches**

_Kyoya - get this s*** off my head_

_Me - *camera in hand* say cheesie weesie_

_Kyoya - f*** off_

_Me - I love you too_

**3. tell him to whip ha-yar**

_me - :3_

_Kyoya - *still with hair in little bunches* seriously unoriginal Niji_

**4. get him to figure out how the jam gets in the middle of a Jam donut**

_Kyoya -THIS IS FREAKING IMPOSSIBLE_

_me - you would make a good Germany_

_Kyoya - eh?_

_Me - Don't you watch Hetalia?_

_Kyoya - UH. .._

_Me - get with it KYOYA! I'm sooo Italy :P_

_Kyoya - I will ignore you now_

_Me - O_O_

_Kyoya - whats with that face you're scaring me_

_Me - Italy and Germany have a sorta gay-ish relationship_

_Kyoya - Nice._

**2. confuse Kyoya**

_Kyoya - you will nev- wait 2?_

_me - mission accomplished_

**6. steal his little black book**

_Me - hehehe I feel evil_

_*looks inside*_

_WTF? Dear Diary . . .?_

**7. confuse him with cockney lingo *no offense intended to cockney speakers***

_Me - Oi mate wat be happenin' in yer howoose? ho' th' wifey n' th' kiddeys an' tha caaaaaa' nevah fogit the caaaaaaaa'_

_*translation* hi friend be happining wat in your house in the wifey and kideys and the caaaaaaaar forget never the caaaaaaaar *never use a british to cockney translator*_

_Kyoya - my superior intellect does not register the language_

_Me - OI ah sed Waaaaa' bey happenin' in yeeeer HOWOOOOSE?_

_Kyoya - MALFUNCTION MALFUNCTION_

**8. confuse him with Pig latin**

_Me - eyhay Yoyakay ancay ouyay asspay emay away Amjay onutday, Iway eallyray ikelay emthay andway ethay astlay oneway isway entay inchesway awayway easeplay etgay itway orfay emay otherwiseway IMMAWAY IREFAY AHMAY AZAAAAAHLAY_

_*translation* hey Kyoya can you pass me a jam donut I really like then and the last one is ten inches away, please get it for me otherwise IMMA FIRE MAH LASAAAAA_

_Kyoya - please, Niji I have alredy had one migrain_

_Me - ivegay emay ymay oodyblay onutday, Iway eednay ugarsay otay  
>urvivesay. owhay elseway illway Iway athergay atfay orfay ethay<br>interway? _

_*translator is broken work it out yourself*_

_Kyoya - Here comes the second one_

_Me - at'sthay itway IMMAWAY IREFAY AHMAY AZAAAAALAY  
>AAAAAAAAAAAHBWAY<em>

_Kyoya - there goes my all my paperwork_

**9. Act like Tamaki for a day**

_Kyoya - *whispers to himself* grin and bear it grin and bear it grin and bear it_

_Me - KYOYA! would you like to sstart a cluuuuuub with me?_

_Kyoya - . . .no way in heck_

_Me - *goes to sulk in corner of woe*_

_Tamaki - I DONT ACT LIKE THAT_

_me - I DONT ACT LIKE THAT_

_Tamaki - MOOOOMMMY_

_mE - MOOOOMMMY_

_Haruhi - what's freaky is she sounds exactly like senpai_

_Kyoya - great 1 more idiot to deal with_

**10. make everyone cosplay as Tamaki for a week (except for Kyoya)**

_Kyoya - Tamaki_

_everyone - YES?_

_Kyoya - your father left your pocket money at the secretarie's office please collect it_

_Hikaru - *bad impression* I'LL BE GOING THEN MOMMY DEAR LOOK AFTER HARUHI, I'LL COME BACK IN A JIFFY AND MOLEST HER LIKE I USUALLY DO, GOODBYE FRIEND, PAL, AMIGO, COMPADRE, MES AMIE. . ._

_Tamaki - NO! I'M TAMAKI AND SINCE WHEN DID I START USING BRITISH WORDS? AND I DONT MOLEST HARUHI AND I DONT SPEAK LIKE THAT ANYWAY!_

_Hikaru - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? HIKARU YOU HANDSOME BEAST STOP LYING! NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I DO SOMETHING PERVERTED AND CREEPY!_

_Tamaki - LET ME STRANGLE YOU!_

_Kyoya - *sigh* only 6 days 7 hours 44 minutes and 30 seconds to go, something tells me this is gonna be a long week_

**11. the return of twocamelsinatinycar**

_Kyoya - Niji please do something useful_

_me - twocamelsinatinycar_

_Kyoya - dont make me -_

_Me - two camels in a tiny car_

_Kyoya - please dont-_

_me - .in..car._

_Kyoya - dear god you're so immature_

_Me - dear god you're so adopted_

_Kyoya - HOW DID YOU KN-? I mean that was sooooo last chapter_

_Me - .IN..MOTHER.F******.CAAAAAAR_

_Hikaru - HAH! FEEL MY PAAAAAIIIN_

**12. scare Tamaki**

_Tamaki - *innocent*_

_me - *evil*_

_Tamaki - *still innocent*_

_Me - *creep creep*_

_Tamaki *Innocent as a baby's bottom (I really dont know)*_

_Me - *In his ear loudly* GAY SEX_

_Tamaki - *girlish squeal* MOOOOOOMMMMYYY_

_Kyoya - F*** you Niji_

_Tamaki - mommy she- she EAR RAPED ME!_

_Kyoya - do you even know the concept of ear-raoe?_

_Tamaki - *shakes head*_

_Me *evil again*_

13. Make Kyoya explain the concept of ear rape to Tamaki

_Me - make sure you explain it thoughrouly_

_Kyoya - . . . an that's ear-rape_

_Tamaki - *screams*_

**14. put your face really close to his while he's facing a different direction, tap him on the shoulder and watch him jump as he faces you**

_kyouya - so this week homey and mori are becoming more popular with the first years. . ._

_me - *tap tap*_

_Kyoya - *turns* and of course there's - HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP_

15. copy his actions while he says something

_Kyoya - *using hand gestures* while the twins take up about 20% of her life, Tamaki is reduced to a mere 3%_

_me - *copying his hand gestures but exagerrating them and looking distracting*_

**16. while talking to kyoya , exclaim that his hand smells bad and then . . . well read on**

_me - man your hand smells bad *retches*!_

_Kyoya - *sniffs hand*_

_Me - *smacks hand into face*_

_Kyoya - *tries to get his glasses out after they got embedded into his face*_

_me - *run away cackling*_

**17. call him several times asking for Gary**

_me - is gary there?_

_Kyoya - no_

_*puts phone down*_

_30 seconds later_

_me - is gary there?_

_Kyoya - no_

_*puts phone down*_

_30 seconds later_

_me - is gary there?_

_Kyoya - no_

_*puts phone down*_

_30 seconds later_

_me - is gary there?_

_Kyoya - no_

_*puts phone down*_

_30 seconds later_

_Me - is gary there_

_Kyoya - FOR GOD'S SAKE NO_

_*puts phone down*_

_30 seconds later_

_Me - is gary there_

_Kyoya - FOR F***'* SAKE NO GO AWAY AND GET A LIFE_

_*puts phone down*_

_30 seconds later_

_Me - hello it's gary are there any messages for me_

_Kyoya - F*** OFF NIJI_

**18. follow him round singing "I know a song that get's on yer nerves, gets on yer nerves get's on yer nerves, I know a song that gets on yer nerves and this is how it goes"**

_Kyoya - MAKE IT STOOOP_

**19. repeatedly hum 'feliz navidad' into Kyoya's ear**

_me - mm mm m m m da da da da da mm mm m m m da da da da da mm m m m mm mm m m mm mm m mmmmmm_

_Kyoya - shtupshutupshutupshutup SHUTUP_

**_20. _whenever he asks you to do something reply 'd'ya want fries with that?'**

_Kyoya - can you leave this website FOREVER_

_Me - d'ya want fries with that?_

_Kyoya - Y-Yes I i'm glad you asked THANK YOU_

_Me - too bad I was lying_

_Kyoya - damn you _


	4. Chapter 4

Ways to freak out/annoy/embarrass the hosts

*Niji does not own Ouran*

**- Kaoru **

**A/N - NEXT DAY UPDATE WOOHOOOO! and just to clarify EmeraldSky67 you win, I wrote the randomest thing I could think of. and SnOandZnT I like yours :)**

**1. speak in spelling bee-ese around him**

_Kaoru - hello Niji_

_Me - hello. H-E-L-L-O. Hello_

_Kaoru - uh, oooookaaaaaay_

_Me - Okay. O-K-A-Y. Okay_

_Kaoru - *panicked* I -uh- have to go now_

_Me - Bye. B-Y-E. bye_

**2. start singing 'the song that never ends' around him then act as if you cant stop and-well, just read on.**

_Me - *sings* this is the song that never ends, it goes on and on my friends . . ._

_Kaoru - *uncomfortable*_

_Me - *panicked singing* this is the song that never ends, it goes . . ._

_Kaoru - Niji? ar__e you. . .Okay?_

_Me - *incredibly frantic singing* this IS thE SOng thAT NEVER endS . . ._

_Kaoru - Niji . . .?_

_Me - *sings franticly then scribbles on paper and passes to kaoru all while singing*_

_Kaoru - *reads* "help me". . ._

_Me - *sings while clawing frantically at throat*_

_Kaoru - ?_

**3. sit in a corner organising photos while cackling maniacly**

_Kaoru - Niji you're scaring me_

_Me - *looks at him evilly while holding a photo of him* you know in some cultures people believe that photo's steal souls *tucks photo into pocket smiling like I has evil intentions*_

_Kaoru - O_o_

**4. trail off in the middle of a sentence while talking to him then stare at him as if he's crazy**

_Me - it's really interesting that . . . _

_Kaoru - . . ._

_Me - . . ._

_Kaoru - . . .go on._

_Me - *weird look*_

_Kaoru - *embarrassed*_

**5. follow Kaoru around suspiciously but obviously while singing the james bond theme song**

_me - dun dun dun dun dundun dun dundundun dun dun duuuun dundun!_

_Kaoru - *to Hikaru* how did you survive_

_Hikaru - she likes me so she went easy, you . . . the worst is yet to come_

_Kaoru - how reassuring_

**6. spontaneously burst into song in a conversation with him**

_Kaoru - and I was thinking_

_me - *sings* THIS IS THE BEST BURRITO I'VE EVER EATEN, YUM YUM YUM_

_Kaoru - O_o_

_Me - *still singing* THIS IS THE BEST BURRITO I'VE EVER EATEN, YUM YUM YUM_

_Kaoru - Niji. . ._

_Me - sorry what were you saying?_

**7. never break eye contact with him**

_i think you guys know how this one went_

**8. act normal**

_me - how ya doing Kaoru_

_Kaoru - *flinch*_

_Me - Nice weather we're having!_

_Kaoru - *suspiciously* yeah. . ._

_*20 minutes later*_

_Me - *concentrating hard on shcool-work you can see why*_

_Koaru - *waiting for a spontaneous outburst*_

_*1 hour later*_

_Kaoru - I GIVE UP_

_Me - wonderful weather we're having_

_Kaoru - DO SOMETHING WEIRD_

_Me - normal is the new weird_

_Kaoru - GAAAAH_

**9. everytime he curses cover your ears and scream 'NO PROFANITY'**

_Kaoru - GODDAMMIT_

_Me - NO PROFANITY _

_Kaoru - what?_

_Me - meh_

_Kaoru - do you even know what it means?_

_Me - . . .yes_

_Kaoru - then tell me_

_Me - it . .means. . to . .have. . a . . .RUBBER UNICORN_

_Kaoru - *facepalm*_

**10. go outside while it's raining, jump in a puddle outside the host club window, look directly at Kaoru and scream 'I'm drowning'**

_me - *jump* whee glub glub glub_

_Kaoru - *ignore*_

_Me - HELP IM DROWNING_

_Kaoru - *twitch*_

_Me- glub glub glub *dissapears*_

_Kaoru - *sigh*_

**11. when he leaves the room eat all his snacks and blame it on your evil twin**

_description removed_

**12. Take a *fake* lit pipe bomb to him and ask him calmly if he knows how to defuse them**

_Kaoru - *annoyed*_

_Me - *tap tap*_

_Kaoru - what?_

_Me - looking forlorly at the bomb then him* do you know how to defuse one of these_

_Kaoru - I know it's fake_

_Me - oh look, 3. 2. 1._

**13. smile all the time**

_ME - :D_

_Kaoru :O_

_Me - :D_

_Kaoru - :(_

_Me - :D_

_Kaoru - D':_

_me - :D_

**14. spend half the day eating marshmallows then when he's out of the room spray whipped cream on the floor**

_Kaoru - wth? what happened?_

_Me - I been sicky ._

**15. the script explains this one**

_Kaoru - walks into club_

_Me - HOORAY YOU'RE BACK *dance around the room*_

_Kaoru - . . ._

_Me - *continues dancing*_

_Kaoru - oh kaaaay_

_Me - *stops dancing and looks at watch* shouldnt you be somewhere?_

_Kaoru - charming._

**16. creep under tables and lie there until you see his foot then randomly grab it, rip off the shoe, and run for your life.**

_Me - *runs away* I REGRET NOTHING_

_Kaoru - *chasing *hopping* after me*WELL YOU SHOULD CUZ I'M GONNA KILL YOU_

_Me- THAT DONT MAKE NO SENSE_

_Kaoru - HAH, DOUBLE NEGATIVE_

**17. do the nom nom nom nom nom nom nom song feat. Hunny**

_Me&Hunny - NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM, nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom_

_Kaoru - MAKE IT STOP_

_Me - nom nom_

_Hunny - nom nom_

_me - nom nom _

_Hunny - nom nom_

_Me - ALL TOGETHA NOW_

_Kaoru - NO!_

**18. make up a theme song for everyone and sing it loudly whenever they enter the room**

_too lazy _

**19. do nothing**

_why is everyone so suspicious?_

**20. invite Fred to join the host club**

_Fred - I cant believe it, this is soo great I almost pooped myself *SCREAM*_

_Kaoru - MAKE IT STOP _

_Hikaru - ._

_Tamaki - :3_

_Kyoya - I'm leaving_

_Mori - *grunt*_

_Hunny - *too busy eating cake*_

_Me - *LOLing at Hikaru's bleeding ears*_

_Fred - *high pitched girly scream*_


	5. Chapter 5

Ways to freak out/annoy/embarrass the hosts

*Niji does not own Ouran*

**- Hunny - this one pained me to do**

**1. exchange all his cakes for suger free ones**

_Hunny - WAAAH, SOO BLAND_

_Me - IM SORRY_

**2. spill tea on Usa-chan and blame Tamaki**

_Hunny - TAMA-CHAN IMMA KILL YOU_

_Tamaki - NO PLEASE! I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR_

**3. spill tea on Usa-chan and blame it on the twins**

_that day Hikaru and Kaoru got the living crap beaten out of them_

**4. poke him with a stick all the way through his afternoon nap *make sure you're at least 30 feet away so you can get a head start running***

_Me - *poke poke*_

_Hunny - *angry*_

_Me - *runnin' for my lifey*_

_Hunny - **going back to sleepy*_

**5. slap in the face with a sock**

_Hunny - what was the point Niji-chan?_

_Me - no reason_

**6. make him dress up in ouran girls uniform**

_many fangitls died that day_

**7. give him the silent treatment**

_Hunny - Niji - chan_

_Me - . . ._

_Hunny - NIJI-CHAN_

_Me - . . ._

_Hunny - bwaaaaaah! you dont like me_

_Me - *panicked* uh no I was just -er -holding. . .mybreath!_

_Hunny - oh ok _

**8. Blame him for everything**

_Kyoya - who broke the teapot_

_Hikaru&Kaoru - *guilty*_

_Me - HUNNY DID_

_Hikaru&Kaoru - *Relieved*_

_Hunny - IM SORRY KYOYA BWAAAAAAH_

_. . . _

_Tamaki - who took my Bear_

_Hikaru&Kaoru - *guilty*_

_Me - HUNNY DID IT_

__Hikaru&Kaoru - *relieved*__

__Hunny - BWAAAAAAAH I'M SORRY TAMA-CHAN__

__. . .__

__Haruhi - who ate all the cake?__

__Hunny - I DIDNT, I was too busy apologising__

__Me - HUNNY DID IT__

**__9. __pelt him with skittles while screamin 'taste the rainbow'**

_he actually managed to eat all the skittles I threw at him_

**10. every time he falls asleep shake him awake**

_Unlike the Tamaki glare of death the Hunny glare of death can warp your soul_

**11. set your ringtone to the this ringtone wilol annoy everybody song**

_phone - _

_This ringtone will  
>annoy everybody<br>everybody  
>everybody<br>This ringtone will  
>annoy everybody<br>if you don't pick it up right now_

_Hunny - *ignoring*_

_Phone - _

_this ringtone will _

_annoy everybody_

_everybody_

_everybody_

_this ringtone will annoy everybody _

_if you dont pick it up right now_

_*goes on for three hours*_

_Hunny - *screams* IT SHOULDNT BE RINGING FOR THIS LOOOONG_

**_12. _Act like mr Flanders**

_this one dont need explaining_

**13. repeat yourself constantly**

**14. put twice the amount of caffiene in everything he eats**

_Hunny - WHHHHEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEE_

_Mori - *screwed*_

**15. repeat yourself constantly**

**16. tell everyone that Hunny is one of the british intelligence only in Japan for one reason.**

_EVERYONE is scared to approach him now_

**17. dont tell them the reason**

_if only looks could kill_

**18. repeat yourself constantly**

**19. pretend you have amnesia**

**20. pretend you have amnesia**


	6. Chapter 6

Ways to freak out/annoy/embarrass the hosts

*Niji does not own Ouran*

with thanks to CleverKitsune06 for helping me with reasons

**Haruhi - :D**

**1. attatch fancy tuna to the end of a fishing rod and constantly reel it away whenever Haruhi reaches for it.**

_Haruhi - NO COME BACK TUNAAAAA!_

**2. handcuff her to tamaki**

_Haruhi - I hate you Niji_

_Tamaki - :D_

**3. the return of GARY!**

_Me - *calling Haruhi* hello is gary there?_

_Haruhi - Go away Niji_

_(30 seconds later)_

_Me - *calling haruhi* Is gary there?_

_Haruhi - NO_

_*hangs up*_

_(30 seconds later)_

_Me - *calling haruhi* Is gary there?_

_Haruhi - NO_

_*hangs up*_

_(30 seconds later)_

_Me - *calling haruhi* Is gary there?_

_Haruhi - NO_

_*hangs up*_

_(30 seconds later)_

_Me - *calling haruhi* Is gary there?_

_Haruhi - NO, fuck off Niji_

_*hangs up*_

_Tamaki - Hello . . .?_

_Haruhi - FUCK OFF YOU ANNOYING PRAT, STOP CALLING ME! NO-ONE LIKES YOU!_

_Tamaki - . . .D': do you really . . .think that?_

_Haruhi - . . .Tamaki?_

_Tamaki - *hangs up*_

_(30 seconds later)_

_Me - Hello?_

_Haruhi - *evil* Niijiiii!_

_Me - *bad foreign accent* who be this Niji? name is my Gary, calls are there for me?_

**4. ask her what sex she is and when she answers laugh hysterically**

_Me - what sex are you?_

_Haruhi - Female_

_me - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA_

_Haruhi - D:_

**5. whenever you are around her smack your forehead repeatedly while muttering "shut up in there"**

**6. sing 99,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall**

_Me - 99,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall-_

_Haruhi - -_-''_

_*2 hours later*_

_Me - 66, 574,342 bottles . . .of. . .beer-_

_Haruhi - Make. . .it. . .STOP_

_*2 hours later*_

_Me - 22,783,039 Bottles . . .of - Fuck it._

_Haruhi - What? have you decided to stop?_

_Me - No! I lost count . . ._

_Haruhi - damn it_

_Me - NO PROFANITY_

_Haruhi - D:_

**7. get everyone to sing along**

_Me - 99,999,999 bottles of bee- COME ON SING ALONG EVERYBODY_

_Tamaki, hunny, Hikaru and Kaoru join in._

_Kyoya excuses himself, Mori watches from a distance and Haruhi has her face embedded in a cake._

**8. give the twins X-Ray glasses**

_they hit me when I tried to take them back_

_Haruhi hit me when I told her I couldn't get them back_

**9. buy some knives and sharpen them in a corner while glaring at Haruhi and muttering to yourself**

_Me - *mutter mutter*_

_Haruhi - o_e_

**10. buy a plant and show it to haruhi and make her come with you to show it to all your friends**

**11. have an argument with the plant**

**12. spend the next day with the plant's empty pot in you hands and refuse to discuss it again**

**13. buy a box of poisonous caterpillars and take them around everywhere with you then later on in the day set them free the next day far away from the host club, then have a conversatiion with Haruhi and bring up the subject of your caterpillars.**

_Haruhi - talking about your weird, poisonous caterpillars. . .where are they?_

_Me - oh they're around here somewhere. . ._

_Haruhi - O_e_

**14. whenever Haruhi is around Tamaki sing the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song**

_Tamaki - So. . .Haruhi_

_Haruhi - I was thinking about-_

_Me - Tamaki and Haruhi sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G _

_First comes love then comes marraige_

_then an abrupt tragic misscarriage_

_then comes blame then comes despair_

_two hearts damaged beyond repair_

_Haruhi leaves Tamaki and takes the tree_

_D-I-V-O-R-C-E_

_Haruhi - *to Tamaki* oh how childhood has changed_

**15. talk to her about something awkward**

_me - you know the time when you're sitting in a toilet cubicle minding your own business then BAM! a unicorn bursts in and tries to sell you weed!_

_Haruhi - oh-kay_

**16. make her watch paranormal activity on her own and then when it's finished call her and- you know what? just read on. . .**

_Haruhi - *movie ends* OH EM GEEE that was fuckin' scary._

_Phone - *rings*_

_Haruhi - *flinches then picks up phone* H-Hello?_

_Me - *deep breathing down the phone*_

_Haruhi - H-H-HELLO?_

_Me - *still breathing deeply*_

_Haruhi - W-WHO IS THIS?_

_Me - *fake accent* SORRY WRONG NUMBER_

**17. watch the episode of CSI with Justin Beiber in it then start crying**

_Me - bwaaaaah!_

_Haruhi - You do know he's not really dead. . ._

_Me - that's why I'm FRIGGIN CRYING!_

**18. start being awkward again while talking to Haruhi**

_Me - dont you hate it when you're just sitting down and getting all comfy then BOOM! a rainbow ninja unicorn decides to attack the living freak outta you!_

_Haruhi - why does everything you say have to be irrelivent and/or to do with unicorns?_

_Me- cus your face_

**19. recite an offensive rhyme in front of her**

_Me - God made coke.  
>God made pepsi.<br>God made me.  
>Oh so sexy.<br>God made rivers.  
>God made lakes.<br>God made you.  
>Well.. we all make mistakes..<em>

_Haruhi - how rude . . ._

**20 . when she's upset reassure her. . .the wrong way**

_Haruhi - *depressed*_

_Me -aww poor you_

_Haruhi - *glare*_

_Me - look when you're having a really bad day just remember that: once upon a time you were the fastest out of 300,000,000 other sperm_

_Haruhi - that didnt help at all :'(_

**21. steal her phone, change your cell contact to "Mum" or in Haruhi's case "Mum" then text her something like -**

_Me - *text text*_

_Haruhi - *gets message* "I read you diary. You are grounded and I'm coming to pick you up right now." SHIT!_

_Me - PFFT!_

_Haruhi - NIJI! you have to help me! _

_Me - BWAHAHAHAHAHa_

_Haruhi - ?_

_Me - *snort*_

_Haruhi - !_

_Me - *running*_

**22. retaliate everything with "well why dont you just marry it?"**

**23. for halloween dress as Rebecca black and scare teh Sh** out of Haruhi**

_It worked_

**24. play the don't let the balloon touch the floor game with Haruhi**

_me - at least I had fun_

_Haruhi - shut up_

**25. read this one it will explain itself**

_Me - *walks into host club*_

_Haruhi - why are your eyes so red?_

_Me - Allergies_

_Haruhi - what are you allergic to?_

_Me - *creepy smile* we-e-e-e-ed_

**26. starty pushing every pull door and vice versa**

_Me - THIS IS SO FREAKIN' STUPID GAAH_

_Haruhi - *facepalm*_

**27. this one is self explanatory also**

_Me - *listening to music*_

_Haruhi - Can I listen?_

_Me - *Passes headphones*_

_Haruhi - this song's really old_

_Me - YEAH? WELL YOUR DAD'S AN OLD UNICORN AND YOU STILL LISTEN TO HIM? _

**28. be normal**

_Me - Nice weather we're having?_

_Haruhi - *Flinches* ye-ah. . ._

_*later*_

_Me - how ya doing?_

_Haruhi - *flinches again then says suspiciously* fine. . ._

_*later*_

_Me - nice wea-_

_Haruhi - STOP IT, YOU WANTED TO ANNOY ME AND YOU HAVE NOW EFFFFFFF OFF!_

_me - . . .Nice weather we're having?_

_Haruhi - GAAAH_


	7. Chapter 7:Happy birthday CleverKitsune07

Ways to freak out/annoy/embarrass the hosts

* * *

><p>*Niji does not own Ouran*<p>

THIS IS FOR CleverKitsune07 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D

Oh God this is Three days early, so um happy 3 days early birthday! I guess. . .

special Guest - Rayne (XD)

* * *

><p><strong>Mori (saved especially for this occasion)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>1. Hide Hunny somewhere trivial and watch Mori Freak out.<strong>

_Comment removed_

* * *

><p><strong>2. Sing the batman theme incessantly<strong>

_Niji and Rayne - Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh BATMAN!_

_Mori - *gritting teeth*_

* * *

><p><strong>3. have a 3 way conversation in morse code<strong>

_Niji - beep boop blip blap?_

_Rayne - BEEEEEP bloop blap blip blip!_

_Mori - ? Beep?_

_Niji - *Bursts into tears* WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?_

_Hunny - Takashi! That was uncalled for_

_Rayne - *evil glare* don't worry Niji, he didn't mean it. . ._

_Mori - ?_

* * *

><p><strong>4. Handcuff Rayne to Mori <strong>

_Rayne - :3_

_Mori - *sigh*_

* * *

><p><strong>5. sing the candy mountain song badly<strong>

_Niji and Rayne - OH! When you're down and looking for some cheering up, just head right on up to the candy mountain cave . . . _

_Hunny - YAY!_

_Mori - I give up_

_Tamaki - we gave up a loooong time ago!_

_Hikaru - Yep_

_Kaoru - my ears. They're bleeding._

* * *

><p><strong>6. Double, no quadruple the amount of sugar in Hunny's cake's then sit back and let it work its magic. <strong>

_Hunny - *endless energy* WOOHOOO WEEEEEE!_

_Hikaru & Kaoru - *sheilding themselves by hiding under a couch*_

_Mori - MITSKUNI!_

_Hunny - RAINBOW BLEGH *Pukes*_

_Niji & Rayne - ew!_

_Mori - . . ._

* * *

><p><strong><em>7.<em>**** Sing Friday**

_Niji & Rayne -ITS FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY!_

_Tamaki, Hikaru & Kaoru - *Running around screaming*_

_Mori - *Flinching occasionally*_

_Haruhi - What is the world coming to?_

_Hunny - RAINBOW BLEGH *pukes*_

_everyone - ew. . ._

* * *

><p><strong>8. Buy one way tickets to a justin Beiber concert<strong>

_Mori -*Winces every time JB opens his mouth*_

* * *

><p><strong>9. Lick all the food in the Host club, use the excuse "so no-one steals it"<strong>

_Niji - :P_

_Rayne - :P_

_Hunny – MY CAKE! _

_Mori – why did you lick Mitskuni's cake?_

_Niji & Rayne – so no-one steals it :3_

* * *

><p><strong>10. do the same but with the hosts<strong>

_Niji - :P_

_Hikaru – EW! What was that for?_

_Niji - :3_

_Rayne - :P :P :P_

_Mori - . . .ew._

* * *

><p><strong>11. Wear a Bike helmet and say it is for your astronaut training<strong>

_Niji – WHEEEEEE!_

_Rayne – HAHA! Level up!_

_Mori -?_

_Hikaru – you weirdo's _

_Niji – Your face fails_

_Hikaru – your dad's condom failed_

_Rayne – Your Mum's abortion failed._

_Hikaru - . . ._

_Kaoru – come on. . .that was uncalled for._

_Niji - . . .twocamelsinatinycar_

* * *

><p><strong>12. Challenge him to a match of martial arts<strong>

_Niji – We challenge you to a match of martial arts!_

_Mori – what kind?_

_Rayne – ORIGAMI! _

* * *

><p><strong>13. Begin all your sentences with "Ooh la la"<strong>

_Niji – Ooh la la I'm so hungry_

_Rayne – ooh la la me too!_

_Niji – Ooh la la Mori can you make hunny share his cake?_

_Rayne – Ooh la la Hunny you never share_

_Mori – Annoying . . ._

_Hunny – YOU CAN'T HAVE MY CAKE! RAINBOW BLEGH *pukes*_

_Haruhi - SERIOUSLY! where is all that puke coming from?_

* * *

><p><strong>14. repeat the following several times:<strong>

_Niji – Did you hear that?_

_Hikaru – What?_

_Niji – never mind, it's gone now._

_Rayne – THERE IT IS AGAIN!_

_Mori – what?_

_Rayne – oh wait. . .no it's gone._

_Niji – IT'S BACK!_

_Mori – WHAT?_

_Niji – GAH! GONE AGAIN!_

_Rayne – NO IT'S BACK!_

_Mori – SHUT UP!_

_Hikaru & Kaoru - *gasp*_

* * *

><p><strong>15. Skip. All. The. Time.<strong>

_Niji & Rayne - *skip skip skip*_

_Mori – embarrassing . . ._

_Hikaru & Kaoru – weirdo's_

* * *

><p><strong>16. Pull a George bush (Basically make whatever you say make no sense)<strong>

_Niji – what you say is nothing is more important than the important things that are unimportant to important people_

_Rayne – Exactly, what I think is that nothing is right until the wrong, right thing is wrong but right then all thats wrong will be right up until it's wrong again._

_Hikaru - *To Mori* do you have any idea what they're trying to say_

_Mori – I don't understand stupid_

_Kaoru – woo! Burn!_

_Niji – are you trying to insult my Saxophone with your wobberjaggle?_

_Hikaru & Kaoru – excuse me?_

_Rayne – if you're not going to listen the first time then why should we cockatoo?_

_Mori – Oh dear lord_

* * *

><p><strong>17. lick the middle of all the oreos in the club and then put them all back <strong>

_Hunny – eeew!_

_Hikaru & Kaoru – nice . . ._

_Mori - *trying to deal with an angry Hunny*_

* * *

><p><strong>18. never make eye contact<strong>

_OH! So NOW everyone's suspicious_

* * *

><p><strong>19. never break eye contact<strong>

_Hikaru and Mori - *shuffle shuffle*_

_Niji & Rayne – O_O_

* * *

><p><strong>20. make Mori read all the MorixHunny fics<strong>

_Mori – ew._

_Hunny – would you really do that to me Takashi?_

_Mori – GAK! *shakes head vigorously*_

* * *

><p><strong>Happy (3 days early) birthday CleverKitsune07! :D<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

Ways to freak out/annoy/embarrass the hosts

* * *

><p>*Niji does not own Ouran*<p>

(To SnOandZnT – SHIIIIIIIT! Do you want me to make something for you? I completely missed it! HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!)

* * *

><p><strong>Tamaki (Revisited because the first chappie was crapness)<strong>

* * *

><p><strong> after him screaming "RAAAAAAMMMMEEEEEEEN!"<strong>

_Me – BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

_Tamaki – NO! I HAD MY TURN GO AWAAAAAY!_

_Me – BUT YOU'RE SO FUN TO ANNOY, BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

**2. tell him that Haruhi chose Hikaru**

_Tamaki – NO! MY BABY! SHE'S DATING A PERVERT!_

_Hikaru – WHO'RE YOU CALLING A PERVERT, PERVERT?_

_Tamki – YOU!_

_Haruhi – what's going on?_

_Tamaki – YOU CAN'T GO OUT WITH HIKARU!_

_Haruhi – I'm . . . Not . . . as far as I know. . ._

_Tamaki – Oh!_

_Me – anyways, you should know Hikaru's mine_

_Hikaru – since when?_

_Me - :P_

_Hikaru – EW! Would you stop licking me?_

_Me – now you have my DNA on you which makes you mine._

_Hikaru - *facepalm*_

**3. hold a word for a long time**

_Me – Gay _

_Tamaki – EAR RAPE!_

_Kyouya – Didn't I explain the concept of ear rape in like chapter 3?_

**4. throw random things at him**

_Me - *throw book*_

_Tamaki – ow._

_Me - *throw vase*_

_Tamaki – OW!_

_Me - *throws dildo*_

_Tamaki – WTF? EEEEW!_

**5. Call Tamaki (With Hikaru :)) and keep on insisting he's gay**

_Me - *calling and putting on Russian accent* Good evening I vood leik to speek to viktor von drachnshplaven_

_Tamaki – I'm sorry wrong number._

_Me – vot is this? You are vot you say? Homosensual? *to Hikaru* VOT? Vot did yooo saeeey? Oh you are GAY!_

_Tamaki – Sorry wrong number._

_Me – Vot is vrong vith you? I be looking for gay for years! You be pervect for my son, you get married tomorrow!_

_Tamaki – I'm not gay._

_Me - *To Hikaru* VOT YOU SAY VLADAMIR? Oh so you want talk to gay man? Here youuuu go!_

_Hikaru - *To me* WTF am I supposed to do?_

_Me – talk dirty to him and put on a Russian accent_

_Hikaru – Eh hem, vot you say to gay sexies yes?_

_Me- pfft_

_Tamaki – erm. . ._

_Hikaru – you no vont Vladimir? You vont Vladdie to sexie you up! Vladdie vill sex you up till no tomorrow comes!_

_Tamaki – OKAY GOODBYE *hangs up*_

_Me – really? Sexies?_

_Hikaru – come on it was the best I could think of._

**6. drown him in Chlorine**

_Me – BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

_Tamaki – brrrrhhg!_

_Me - *pulls him out* There, now your hair's green._

_Tamaki –NOOOOOO! WHY? BILLIE JEAN!_

**7. sing the same song over and over again**

_Me – this song is stuck inside my head . . ._

_Tamaki - *angry*_

_Me – this song is stuck inside my head and . . . _

_Tamaki - *:(*_

_Me – This song is stuck inside my head and it . . ._

_Tamaki – STFU!_

_Me – Tamaki has bad PMS!_

_Hikaru&Kaoru – PMS PMS PMS PMS PMS PMS!_

**8. enrol him in a gay club**

_Tamaki –I HATE YOU_

_Me – I did this because I love you!_

_Tamaki – well I'm not going_

_Me – FUCK OFF,I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!_

**9. enrol him in a Justin beiber, Fred and Britney Spears fan club**

_Tamaki – FUCK FUCK FUUUUUCK!_

_Me – Gahahahahhaa the JB fanclub sent you a poster a T-shirt and a Never say never cd LOL!_

**10. call him and . . .you know, just read the script.**

_Me - *calls Tamaki* hello?_

_Tamaki – Hello?_

_Me – are you Bill Clinton?_

_Tamaki – WHAT? NO! *starts ranting*_

_Me – you know what?_

_Tamaki – WHAT!_

_Me – *cries* do you know what it's like to be lied to :(_

**11. give him bunny ears with your fingers ;)**

_ Tamaki – FUCK OFFFFFF!_

**12. Be HAPPY!**

_Tamaki – too. . . Much. . . Happiness. . ._

**13. add mabob to everyone's name to annoy them**

_Me – hey Tamamabob!_

_Tamaki – shut up_

_Me – Fine I'll go play with Hikamabob and Kaomabob_

_Hikaru &Kaoru – NO!_

_Me – then Hunnymabob and Morimabob are free aren't they_

_Hunny – NO NO NO!_

_Me – then Harumabob should be free_

_Haruhi – as soon as pigs fly_

_Me – so that leaves KYOUYAMABOB!_

**14. demand everyone calls you "your majesty"**

_Never happened_

**_15. Pretend you're invisible_**

_Me –YOU CANT SEE ME TEEHEE!_

_Tamaki - *grrrrr*_

**16. call him and ask him what the number for 911 is**

**17. laugh at everything he says**

_Tamaki –WHY IS EVERYTHING SO FUNNY TO YOU?_

**18. Lick him**

_Tamaki – EW! PLEASE STICK TO LICKING HIKARU_

_Me – Okay_

_Hikaru *Hides*_

**_20. skip a number_**

_Tamaki – WHERE IS 19?_


	9. Chapter 9

**HEY! I'm sorry, this is really overdue DX **

**I was busy animating and whatnot**

**Today: RENGE!**

***evil smile***

* * *

><p>1. Diss the French<p>

_Me : I HATE FRENCH! I mean I have beem taking it for two years and I still cant get Je poo or whatever it is._

_Renge: IT'S JE PU! NOT F*CKING JE POOOOOO!_

_Me: is there a difference?_

_Renge: A MAJOR ONE!_

* * *

><p>2. Jam a leek in her motor<p>

_Me: *evilness*_

_Renge: OH HO HO HO HO. . .HO . . . HO. . .HO?_

* * *

><p>3. Take away all her Uki doki (Bad spelling) stuff<p>

_Me: she takes addiction to a whole new level._

_Renge; GIMME GIMME GIMME!_

* * *

><p>4. Tell her that Kyouya masturbates to her laughter<p>

_It was very awkward. for her._

* * *

><p>5. make her read all the rated M RengexNekozowa smutslemons

_Renge: I feel so horny right now_

_Me: O_o_

* * *

><p>6. make her do the capirinha (meme, look it up XD)<p>

_Renge: does . . . this. . . music . . . ever. . . stop?_

_Me: nope, keep going._

* * *

><p><em>7.<em> Whisper "Otaku" in her ear randomly

_Renge: *SHIVER*_

* * *

><p>8. Interupt her speech<p>

_Renge: and what I have to say is-_

_Me: PEANUT BUTTER ICE CREAM BANANA MUFFIN CAT!_

_Renge: *medusa tranformation go*_

_Me: TAKE HARUHI *throws Haruhi at Renge*_

_Tamaki: NO! MY PRECIOUS!_

* * *

><p>9. Burst into dance around her<p>

_Me: *Dancing my ass off*_

_Renge: *Trying to get a restraining order*_

* * *

><p>10. self explanatory<p>

_Renge: Hello!_

_Me: Oh, I see the assassins haven't come for you yet, damn. I payed a lot of money for them!_

_Renge: O_o_

_Me: oh and word of advice, anything that's either green, sticky or smells funny is perfectly harmless_

_Renge: Right . . ._

* * *

><p>11. also self explanatory<p>

_Renge: *powerful motor* OH HO HO HO HO HO_

_Me: oh I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public_

_Renge: Grrrr_

* * *

><p>12. ditto<p>

_me: I like you_

_Renge: Well I don't like you_

_Me: you remind me of when I was young and stupid_

_Renge: But you're younger than me_

_Me: my point exactly_

* * *

><p>13. same<p>

_Renge: YOU ARE SO RUDE!_

_Me: *infuriatingly calm* I'm not rude, you're just insignificant._

* * *

><p>14. get your own office<p>

_Renge: what is with this office?_

_Me: it's not an office, it's hell with fluorescent lighting_

* * *

><p>15. critique her Cosplay<p>

_Me: whatever look you were going for, you missed it. By a long shot._

_Renge: I NOW CHRISTEN YOU THE ANNOYING TYPE!_

_Me: I'm not annoying, I'm challenged_

* * *

><p>16. call her Geometrically challenged then let her figure it out for herself<p>

_Renge: *just figured it out*_

_Me: (TEEHEE)_

* * *

><p>17. pull a random<p>

_Me: you know if you were a type of bean, I know exactly what bean you would've been._

_Renge: Oh yeah? which one?_

_Me: LES-BEAN! *runs away laughing* _**(for all you slow people, les-bian)**

_Renge: eh? *Figures out* NIJI!_

* * *

><p>18. Act stressed<p>

_Renge: Stop being stressed, you're more annoying than usual._

_Me: IM NOT STRESSED, STRESSED IS WHEN YOU WAKE UP SCREAMING AND THEN NOTICE YOU HAVEN'T FALLEN ASLEEP YET!_

* * *

><p>19. Make her cosplay as a dog<p>

_Me: now if I throw a stick will you leave?_

_Renge: F*CK OFF_

* * *

><p>20. make a list of ways to annoy Renge<p>

_Renge: OH LA LA TU EST TRES ENNUYEUX!_

_Me: SHE SO CALLED ME FAT!_

_Tamaki: No, she didn't dumbass_

_Hikaru: well she obviously did, plain as . . ._

_Kaoru: you're not very good at this_

_Hikaru: AS CURTAINS!_

_Haruhi: *FACEPALM*_

* * *

><p><strong>Major fail on my part for delaying, soz XP<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

Ways to freak out/annoy/embarrass the  
>hosts<p>

* * *

><p><strong>*Niji does not own Ouran*<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Redoing Kaoru because apparently I was<strong>  
><strong>too nice on him XD<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>The titles for the numbers are the<strong>  
><strong>names of the jokes, just to clarify.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>1."I Heard – "<strong>

_That you guys were bored so I got myself a new  
>format<em>

_Me – I heard you got a brain transplant and the  
>brain rejected you.<em>

_Kaoru – yeah, nice. Pick on me again why don't you?  
>Why can't you just go lick Hikaru?<em>

_Hikaru – oh hell no._

* * *

><p><strong>2."He's not stupid"<strong>

_Of course he's not . . ._

_Hikaru – Kaoru's been acting strange lately, almost  
>stupid.<em>

_Me – He's not stupid, he's just possessed by a  
>retarded ghost.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>3."the first time we met"<strong>

_ Do ya? DO  
>YA?<em>

_Me – d'ya remember the first time we met Kaoru?_

_Kaoru – Sadly yeah_

_Me – Well I'm trying really hard to forget it_

_Kaoru – Charming._

* * *

><p><strong>4."Twincest"<strong>

_Ah nature_

_Random Fangirl – isn't it amazing? They look  
>exactly alike!<em>

_Me – and they still love nature despite what it did  
>to them, or one of them.<em>

_Hikaru - *looks at chapter title* BALLS TO YOU  
>KAORU HAHA!<em>

_Kaoru - *facepalm*_

* * *

><p><strong>5."You're Gay"<strong>

_Only for good impressionists_

_Me – *Calling Kaoru*_

_Kaoru – Hello?_

_Me - *manly voice* YOU'RE GAY!_

_Kaoru – WTH? No sir, you're gay._

_Me – HAHAHAHAHAHA, OH Kaoru-_

_Kaoru – How'd you know my name?_

_Me – deep deep down I know you really want me to be  
>gay but even so I still wouldn't touch you then.<em>

_Kaoru – O_o Okay I'm leaving._

* * *

><p><strong>6."rudeness"<strong>

_Works only if you really hate this person, really  
>want to annoy this person or are bored<em>

_Kaoru – Hey guys_

_Me – ah, I see the screw up fairy has come to visit  
>us again.<em>

_Kaoru – hahahahahaha shut up_

_Me – how about never? Is never good for you?_

_Kaoru – NO._

* * *

><p><strong>7. "worship"<strong>

_ Works best  
>in my situation<em>

_Kaoru & Hikaru - *bitch bitch bitch*_

_Me – COME ON PEOPLE, I'll be easier to get along  
>with when you start worshipping me!<em>

* * *

><p><strong>8. "is that your face?"<strong>

_Your face jokes are really annoying that's why I  
>use them all the time<em>

_Me – your face is such a mess, next time you decide  
>to go diving make sure the pool has water in it.<em>

_Kaoru – SHUT UP, I can't swim_

_Me – aw, poor baby._

* * *

><p><strong>9. "when they gave out"<strong>

_Annoyingness_

_Me – Hey Kaoru Guess what!_

_Kaoru - *rolls eyes* what?_

_Me - when they were giving out heads, you thought  
>they said breads and I bet you said "I'd like mine nice and doughy"<em>

_Hikaru – burn . . ._

* * *

><p><strong>10. "Good riddance"<strong>

_Purely coincidental . . ._

_Me- if I said anything offensive, it was purely  
>coincidental<em>

_Kaoru – okay then_

_Me –YOUR MOTHER'S SO HAIRY WHEN YOU CAME OUT YOU  
>GOT A CARPET BURN!<em>

_Kaoru – WHAT?_

_Me – YOUR MOTHER'S SO FAT WHEN SHE WEN'T SWIMMING  
>IN THE OCEAN THE WHALES SANG "WE ARE FAMILY"<em>

_Kaoru – HURTFUL!_

_Me – as I said. Purely coincidental._

* * *

><p><strong>11. "Don't be angry"<strong>

_Too hot to handle_

_ Kaoru – GAH  
>DON'T HURT ME<em>

_Me – why would I? It's be nice to animal's week . .  
>.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>12. "tail<br>wag"**

_Used only for desperate measures_

_Kaoru – AND YOUR MOM'S SO FAT-_

_Me – don't try to insult me, I know you like me. I  
>can see your tail wagging<em>

_Kaoru – Tail . . . ?_

* * *

><p><strong>13. "sperm"<strong>

_For that oooh burn reaction_

_Me – 10,000,000 sperm to choose from and you were  
>the fastest.<em>

_Kaoru – Grrrrrr._

* * *

><p><strong>14. "make up"<strong>

_Applying clown make-up to Kaoru's face while he's  
>sleeping<em>

_Me - *applying make up to Kaoru's face, holding a  
>mirror above his face then shaking him awake* wakey wakey sleepy pants!<em>

_Kaoru – gnnn? *looks into mirror* AAAAAH! WHAT HAVE  
>YOU DONE TO ME?<em>

_Me- lolz_

_Kaoru – GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!_

* * *

><p><strong>15. "taste the rainbow"<strong>

_I just love skittles, don't you?_

_Me - *throws skittles* TOUCH THE RAINBOW TASTE THE  
>RAINBOW TASTE IT NOOOOOOW!<em>

_Kaoru – GAAAAAAAH!_

* * *

><p><strong>16. "Sgt. Frog"<strong>

_Tamama is the cutest laser firing bastard ever_

_Me - *invites Tamama to the host club*_

_Tamama –Hi!_

_Hunny – YAY BUDDY!_

_Tamama – FLY BLARGH *IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZAAAAH*_

_Kaoru – DON'T FIRE AT ME!_

* * *

><p><strong>17. "Facebook tactic"<strong>

_Basically poking him _

_Me – *pokes Kaoru repeatedly* HAHAHAHA FACEBOOK IN  
>REAL LIFE<em>

_Kaoru – MAKE IT STOP!_

* * *

><p><strong>18. "Naughty Naughty"<strong>

_Hiding Porn Magazines in Kaoru's wardrobe_

_Hikaru – KAORU! HOW COULD YOU?_

_Kaoru - ?_

_Hikaru – AND GAY PORN AS WELL! IT'S OVER BETWEEN US  
>KAORU<em>

_Kaoru – we never had anything in the first place .  
>. .<em>

_Hikaru – DO I MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?_

_Kaoru – yeah, guess so. . ._

* * *

><p><strong>19. "blind date"<strong>

_Hikaru's idea not mine_

_Me – Kaoru! Guess what!_

_Kaoru - *sigh* what?_

_Me – YOU GET TO STAR IN YOUR VERY OWN YAOI MOVIE!_

_Kaoru – who with?_

_Me - *grumble grumble* Tamaki, nekozawa *grimble  
>grumble* slight Kasanoda *grumble*<em>

_Kaoru – EW!_

* * *

><p><strong>20. "Pitcher"<strong>

_ Telling him  
>that Hikaru is now the Uke.<em>

_Kaoru – OH HELL NO!_

_Me – I wanna see it in action :3_

_Kaoru – WTH? No!_

_Hikaru - *grumble grumble* I'm up for it *grumble  
>grumble*<em>

_Kaoru - -_-'_

* * *

><p><strong>just to let y'all know that I may be starting a new fanfiction XP<strong>


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